Students, when faced with the dreaded time of class where papers are picked up, often come up with excuses. Sometimes they are valid reasons, other times though… they are just grasping at thin air. These are a list of excuses and one imaginary snarky teachers responses to them. This teacher has had enough of this particular student’s need to get out of work.

 

1.Excuse: I wasn’t here yesterday miss/mister.

Response: Were you here the day I assigned it?

Excuse: Well yeah, but I didn’t have enough time.

Response: Well you could have worked on it when you were in bed all day.

 

Result: Fail.

 

2. Excuse: You didn’t say it was due today though.

Response: What are those things in your head?

Excuse: Eyes…?

Response: Use them.

 

Result: Fail.

 

3. Excuse: I left it at home ma’am/sir.

Response: No you didn’t, you just didn’t do it and are going to do it tonight and then turn it in next class period.

Excuse: No I really did leave it.

Response: Well I’m sorry that I’m not your mother and don’t hold your hand through the morning to make sure you got everything you needed into your backpack that is strapped to you all day.

 

Result: Fail.

 

4. Excuse: I left it in another class.

Response: Oh okay, you can go get it then.

Excuse: Well it was yesterday ma’am/sir.

Response: *thinking* Oh my gosh does he/she not know that I have already heard this before?*

 

Result: Stink eye.

 

5. Excuse: I didn’t understand the homework so I couldn’t do it.

Response: I gave you notes and you didn’t understand any of the problems?

Excuse: Well No- *cut off*

Response: -So you were so in the dark that you didn’t even try to write on the paper because a magical barrier of confusion covered it and prevented your pencil from making it to the paper and getting thoughts down?

 

Result: EPIC FAIL!

 

6. Excuse: I forgot about that assignment.

Response: At least you were honest, turn it in next time. Points are taken off*

Excuse: Okay!!

 

Result: You could possibly pass with this one, but only slightly.

 

7. Excuse: I lost that assignment.

Response: And so you didn’t come to get me?

Excuse: No it was last night when I lost it.

Response: So you waited till the last minute to do it but then realized it wasn’t there?

Excuse: Well.. um you see miss…

 

Result: Head shake then fail.

 

8. Excuse: My Dog ate it ma’am.

Response: Get out.

Excuse: Wh… what??

 

Result: You are kicked out of class.

 

9. Excuse: Well I didn’t have time to do it because of [insert here], and that took up all my time.

Response: What do you do in pride time?

Excuse: Other school work ma’am/sir.

Response: Then also do mine.

 

Result: Fail because you said that class didn’t rank high enough on your priority list.

 

10. Excuse: I tried to send it online to you.

Response: When?

Excuse: Last night ma’am/sir.

Response: Well why didn’t you talk to me this morning?

Excuse: Well I was busy with other classes/ I couldn’t get out of class.

Response:…*long pause and then a sigh and a headshake* Okay then [student name]. Turn it into me today, or show it to me.

 

Result: Head shake, no more accepting of any other excuses you might give… but you pass. Congratulations!