v  By Ellen Giddens

  You know what really grinds my gears? Bananas. My goodness there are so many things about bananas that grind my gears I don’t even know where to begin. 

   First of all you can never just buy one banana, you have to buy a whole group of bananas. It’s really uncalled for. When I think of bananas, the unruly fruit, I cannot help but compare them to a middle school girl. The resemblance is obvious. Bananas always travel in groups, they are soft, if not given immediate attention they turn brown and mushy, and let’s face it, they have very little taste.

   Then you have the problem will spelling bananas. Without the good deeds of Gwen Stefani, over sixty-percent of Americans would have no idea how to spell the fruit. In fact, I have caught myself having to sing the catchy tune of “b-a-n-a-n-a-s” every time I write the word.

   So next time you are in the grocery store you have two choices. One, buy a real fruit like an apple, a single apple, eat it whenever you please, and enjoy it. You could even teach a three year old how to spell apple, it’s common sense. Or two, buy a bushel of bananas, rush home making sure your car stays at room temperature, spend five minutes trying to get the peel off, then try to eat all four bananas, and end up throwing two of them away.

   The whole process involving bananas just seems wrong. I know when I am at the grocery store, I will be buying an apple, not the emotionally unstable, buy-in-bulk bananas. My name is Ellen Giddens and that is why bananas really grind my gears.